Welcome to Jon

I’ve just concluded one of the more disgusting things that I’ve done that involves food, myself, and topic matter that is safe for the workplace (SFW). After work today, a co-worker (who will be named Jonathan S. Hen in this post for anonymity) and I went to Wendy’s. We’re high-class. I don’t think I’ve been to a Wendy’s in a couple years at least, and I’m not sure if I’ll be back anytime soon.

I’ve always brought about the challenge of trying to eat one of every menu on the 99¢ menu to see if it was humanly possible. S. Hen decided to call that challenge into question today. After standing inside the Wendy’s for several minutes and debating how one could order two of all the 99¢ menu items without feeling like a bad person, we left and went through the drive-thru. This way, at least we wouldn’t have to carry a few large trays of terrible food with us to a virtually empty seating area in the restaurant. What can I say, I’m a wuss.

It was decided we wouldn’t get completely everything that cost 99¢, but come very close. We passed on the mandarin oranges as that’s kind of weird, and also the beverage at the time. However, we still ordered two of each of the of the following items: Buffalo Crispy Chicken Sandwich, Crispy Chicken Sandwich, Yogurt with Granola, 5-piece Crispy Chicken Nuggets, Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe, 1/4lb Double Stack, Small French Fries, and Small Original Chocolate Frosty. Yes, gross. I wanted to pass on the yogurt at least also, but apparently S. Hen fancies the yogurt.

Nearly $20 later and with three bags in our hands, we more or less ate the items in the reversed order they were put in the bags. We started out strong, making it through the 1/4lb Double Stack, Frosty, French Fries, Yogurt, Chicken Nuggets, and Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe without much issue.

However, we ran into what I’d later deem my new kryptonite: the Buffalo Crispy Chicken Sandwich. Wow, that thing is disgusting. It’s an interesting combination of spiciness, globs of mayo, and a really odd ground-up meat texture. I choked the thing down quickly, but this is where S. Hen requested a break to get something to drink.

After getting a beverage, we continued onto the challenge with only two items remaining. Despite wanting to puke at this point, I was able to quickly consume the Crispy Chicken Sandwich. S. Hen, however, started to complain of stomach issues and cried a bit. He finished most of it, and then he conceded defeat to the 99¢ menu.

As of right now, I have been considering self-induced regurgitation after that terrible idea of S. Hen’s. However, I figured that can’t be an option since that is the first step towards an eating disorder. I read that on the Internets.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 14th, 2007 at 12:00 am and is filed under Exploding Food. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.